For those of you following the series of posts on Helen, I’m sure you’ll be shocked and dismayed to hear that she was taken from us this week after suffering a morning of uncontrollable seizures. It was a tragic ending for all of us who loved this presumed head trauma survivor—not least because it was so unexpected.
In fact, the day before we euthanized her, Helen was more active than usual. She was remarkably social and uncharacteristically responsive to our caresses, despite the sensory depravation that comes from living life as a blind and deaf kitten. At the time, we were excited to see her so alive and interactive. But I had my suspicions…
To me, it seemed likely that Helen was coming into heat, hence the difference in personality. As anyone who’s ever observed the phenomenon of a cat in heat will readily confirm, these hormonal changes lead inevitably to aberrantly solicitous behavior in felines.
Helen seemed to be demonstrating some version of this in her uniquely disabled way. But there was no way to know for sure. Most everyone else thought she might be snapping out of the disorientation her head trauma had occasioned.
Could she be getting better…?
But the next morning proved this kind of thinking wishful, a mere fantasy for those of us who watched for signs of recovery on a daily basis. At nine AM, as if by clockwork, Helen began having seizures. She’d never exhibited any such symptoms previously and I justifiably feared the worst.
Helen didn’t respond to any of the garden-variety seizure medications. A Propofol drip seemed the only way to keep her brain quiet. But she wasn’t tolerating even this approach. Considering her other issues (lack of vision and hearing) and the mounting swelling I envisioned affecting her brain, I elected to euthanize her after three hours of this.
It was a very low moment for all of us. But there’s no mistaking it was the right thing to do.
What happened? My guess is that I was correct in assuming she was coming into heat and that this physiologic change lowered her seizure threshold significantly, as menstrual cycles are known to in human epileptics and other seizure disorder patients. Perhaps scar tissue in her brain subsequent to the injury altered normal brain pathways and sensitized her to this eventuality. Who knows?
Should I have spayed her before this? I’d thought about it many times and, in an overabundance of caution, chose to wait longer to make sure she seemed old enough and asymptomatic enough to go forward with it. Truth be told, I feared losing her to exactly this kind of crisis.
For all of you who sent me emails in support of Helen’s condition, for those who despaired for her comfort, and especially to those who offered to give her a loving home (whom I turned down after recognizing that I needed to have control over this precarious case’s destiny), I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are all in my thoughts as a reminder of how caring people can be.
Helen was just one kitten, but I like to think she represents so many more of the world’s vulnerable creatures who require our stewardship and flourish under it, despite their limitations…and ours. Thanks again.
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I'm so sorry.
Georg February 2nd, 2008 08:40:00 AM
*cries*
I'm so sorry to hear about little Helen. You did everything right and gave this girl a chance she never would have had if it hadn't been for your efforts, both in treating her and in trying to find a home for her. I'm sure her little spirit is grateful that the last few months of her life were safe and in the hands of people who provided love, a constant food supply, and the medical treatment she needed.
My sympathies are with you and the rest of your clinic staff, who almost certainly fell in love with Helen while she lived there, too.
JaneA February 2nd, 2008 08:45:00 AM
You're right, Dr. K. Helen DOES represent all the creatures who require our care -- and thrive because of it! Thank you for giving her a chance in this world. I know she loved you in her own special way. In heaven, she is healed of her infirmities and I'm sure she's enjoying her new-found sight and hearing. Perhaps my beloved Pia will show her around the kingdom.
Blessings to you for your kindness, mb
mb February 2nd, 2008 08:50:00 AM
I'm so sorry about Helen. However unfortunate her difficulties were for her, she was also a lucky kitty, to have been so well loved and so well cared for. Your stories about her have been a profound reminder of the value of love and acceptance. May we all do well in applying these to all the creatures in our own lives. Thanks for sharing her with us.
Judy February 2nd, 2008 09:09:00 AM
So sad :(
Xslf February 2nd, 2008 09:09:00 AM
I'm very sorry. At least Helen was loved and had a good life for her last few months.
Lis February 2nd, 2008 09:48:00 AM
I am so incredibly sorry :(
Trish February 2nd, 2008 10:54:00 AM
Condolences to you and all who loved Helen.
Donna February 2nd, 2008 11:18:00 AM
I am so very sorry. Having seen video footage of Helen made me feel I knew this special little kitty.
You split the difference between making life possible for her and making her suffer uneccesarily. It is clear that she enjoyed life to the best of her ability and got all the joy she could out of the time she had. Many people wouldn't have given her that chance. I know that doesn't make losing Helen any easier, but I hope you get some comfort out of it. Just as she represents all the other patients who flourish when we care for them, you represent the compassion of all the other veterinarians (heck, all the other humans) who choose to care even though they know the odds are long and they might get hurt. It takes a noble heart to do that.
Rest easy, Helen.
Laurel February 2nd, 2008 11:31:00 AM
I'm so sorry, Patty. thanks for blogging about Helen.
caroline February 2nd, 2008 12:06:00 PM
I'm so very sorry. Helen was such a special little kitty - thank you for loving her and taking such good care of her.
Cindy February 2nd, 2008 04:27:00 PM
Bless you, Dr. Patty. You did your best and gave Helen more love and compassion in her brief time on earth than many pets get in a lifetime. Rest in peace, angel *Helen*
Anne
Anne February 2nd, 2008 04:34:00 PM
Not even a propofol drip? Oh dear. So sad. At least you loved her while you could and did best by her when it wasn't enough. :(
anna February 2nd, 2008 08:56:00 PM
I'm so sorry, Dr. Patty. Helen was much loved and well cared for. Thank you for giving her a chance when she otherwise would have had none at all.
Feline February 2nd, 2008 09:14:00 PM
My thoughts are with you and everyone who was attached to dear Helen. It is never easy losing the ones we love even if semi-expected. She did have a good life with you even though it was brief. Not everyone would have given her the love and care that you did, many would have written her off. Prayers for Helen and the peace she has now found. Even though she will be missed.
Marie February 2nd, 2008 09:38:00 PM
So sorry. I'll surely shed a tear for Helen tonight.
I remember a few days before my Grandfather died he became lucid and even cheerful after months of complete dementia. I think maybe it's just a part of death we don't fully understand yet.
I hope Helen is in a better place. Maybe that infinite scratching post in the sky. :-)
Larry February 2nd, 2008 11:17:00 PM
Wow, I am really sad. I am so sorry Helen is gone. I was really hoping good things for her. But at least this way, there will be no bad things.
:(
Stefani February 3rd, 2008 02:31:00 AM
I vividly recall your first post about Helen, Dr. Patty, how she was found in your client's backyard unaware of the impending danger surrounding her. I've followed Helen's story with smiles and tears since then. Thank you for your efforts.
It may have been the heat cycle, but I like Larry's explanation better. This happened, too, with one of my terminally ill dogs; on his last night, he unexpectedly decided to roam the neighborhood for a few hours, showing more energy than he had for months.
On Helen's last day she chose to solicit all the loving she could get for her short little life here on earth.
Rita
rita February 3rd, 2008 12:51:00 PM
Thank you so much for giving Helen a chance to experience your loving care. I am sad she is gone but at least she is no longer suffering.
Hugs and tears,
Patty
Patty P February 3rd, 2008 03:15:00 PM
I'm so sorry Dr. Patty.
Helen will be missed, but I am thankful you had each other- even if only for a short time.
:((
Creature of Habit February 3rd, 2008 10:22:00 PM
I'm sorry for your loss.
Stacy February 4th, 2008 07:31:00 AM
I'm really sorry. It's obvious she was a sweetie and well-cared-for. You did what you could and made her life wonderful!
Rest in peace, Helen.
Anna February 4th, 2008 09:46:00 AM
Very sad news.
Jules February 4th, 2008 09:58:00 AM
I'm sad to hear about the loss of sweet Helen. I recently watched the video of your dog interacting with her. She was so sweet - I'm glad she had you to care for her in her short little life.
Tammy February 4th, 2008 01:15:00 PM
Bindi (my seizure cat) and I are grieving with you. Helen made a huge impact with her short but eventful life. She will not be forgotten.
Karen & Bindi February 6th, 2008 03:43:00 PM
You are to be commended for your loving compassion and perseverance. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for Helen.
Aimee February 12th, 2008 02:17:00 PM
I'm just catching up on your emails and I am very sorry. I was impressed that you were even trying to raise Helen, because I couldn't even imagine how to do it. My belated condolences to you.
Diana February 21st, 2008 08:33:00 PM
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